Like every teenager, that time of my life was full of fears, indecisiveness, undefined attitudes, there was a question of choosing the right path that I should choose in order to start life in the right way.
On top of everything, although I did not suffer classic peer violence (even though I was small, I had enough strength to stand up to my peers who behaved like a bully), but I suffered frequent teasing, precisely because of my small size but also because of the emotions that I expressed very easily.
And if I exclude the teasing I had from my peers, I would also add frequent comments from the elders around me.
I often heard: You have to do this. You have to. What you did was not good. You could have done it better, easier, faster...
I started the transition from being a teenager the moment I entered a very difficult and demanding high school. Then I left behind those peers, bullies who couldn't get into some more prestigious schools due to their physical strength and who went to schools equal to their abilities, where their rules applied... So let them compete with their own kind every day to see who is stronger.
And to my new environment, I started to show a little less emotion (I also grew a little, so I wasn't the shortest in the class, and the gym did its job too 🙂)
Putting emotions under lock and key was an even smarter choice when I started college.
Well, that period was tricky.
Parents without regular income and I had to start working, in order to contribute to the household, because I had to take my younger brother, who had just entered high school, on the trip.
But by that time, the transition to adulthood was complete.
Do you have to go to college? Do you have to work? Should you spend your hard-earned money with the company? Should you spend money on taking a driving test when you don't have a car yet? So the question is, why are you buying a car, when you're not going anywhere outside the city...?
And so indefinitely.
Until I said, enough!
An emotional kid, I became a tough guy, sometimes strict (but fair), I increased my level of self-control, stopped reacting impulsively to the first ball. I have become a responsible man, and I am ready to accept responsibility for everything I do, good or bad. I am not guided by immediate benefits and I am always consistent. My word has weight and sometimes someone blames me, why don't I promise something, and I fulfill it or not, it doesn't matter. I can't do that, to give false hope to others, so I make a promise only when I know I will fulfill it (even if I die while doing it and even if it is to my detriment).
I am ready to learn and listen to other people's opinions, although sometimes my emotional side (buried a little deeper) comes to the surface, and reacts more violently when I don't like that opinion. But I try to accept other people's views with understanding.
And to avoid them if they don't fit into my mindset (not only those attitudes, but also the people they come from).
I mentioned the title "Master of my life:?", and placed on the picture the status of one of the three most important gods of Greek mythology, Poseidon.
Do I wish I had transitioned my teenage years into a life with Poseidon-like qualities? I don't think so. I read somewhere that he was short-tempered and explosive, spiteful and vindictive, but proud and ambitious, passionate.
Of all his qualities, I would accept a small part of ambition and passion, which would help me dare to take the next step on the staircase of my life. This way, it seems to me that I have reached a point in my life, from where I can't see how to continue to even greater heights... I am searching and examining, but maybe I lack a little of that passion...
It doesn't matter. Even if I don't climb to a new peak (which I honestly don't believe will be the case), I'll try to remain the master of the peak I'm currently on and live the life I've made so far, regardless of your opinions, criticisms or comments.
