Move over, Coco Madmoiselle, Versace, La vie est belle and Sauvage!
(made on canva)
There are new fragrances (unreleased due to lack of funds) in town:
Papercut by Dieorbitch: A quintessentially dark scent with top notes of aquatic tears, stale instant coffee, and shattered dreams. The base notes of this papercut consist of a subtle hint of blood, sweat, and a touch of passive-aggressive memos, making it perfect for any office environment.
Channel No. 5 from the house of La Femme Potato: This soon-to-be iconic scent boasts top notes of crushed chips, a whiff of cola, and settles into a nice base note of drool. Perfect for binge-watching date nights and solo crying bouts.
Eau de Man: With subtle opening notes of Honeysucker, free-yeah, and wood-do-it, it is perfect for the person who seeks validation by paying for other people's meals.
Sweet Insulin by Diorbetes: The perfect perfume for those who love carbs despite the alarming glucose levels. With sweet notes of I'll-even-have-burnt-sugar, candied ginger, and candied apple, this gourmand, cloying scent is addictive. It does attract ants, though.
Clean de Her Mess: This is the fragrance for college-going, hapless kids whose parents are visiting and they need to smell like they took a shower within the last week.
With top notes of soap, water, shampoo, detergent, and window cleaner, it is sure to leave you smelling like a cupboard, but in a good way.Coder by Armami: This dual fragrance starts with top issues of cardaMom and ChaMomile but gradually dissolves into damp basement heart notes. There is a whiff of money at its base, but no honey.
Laid by Not Pradaf It: A sexy musky scent that smells of 99% desperation and 1% perspiration. Its bold, musky scent will make people notice you, and its abundance of pheromones will induce the feeling of love. Spritz and enjoy a night out. This perfume goes best with "A Walk of Shame in a Sicilian Orange Groove" by Jome Alone.
Some honorable mentions:
Tom Can't Afford Oud et beach
Le Labotomy Santal 3.33
Bombsell - Victoria's secret-income