“See, because, people shouldn't use colorful language, see, because, most people don't know how much red they need, see, because, and then, if they are Grayson, they need a lot of blue, and see, because if they are Edwina, they need a lot of pink and purple, and whatever color sparkle is, and, see, most people don't even know sparkle is a color, so, they need to watch their mouths.”
Five-year-old Lil' Robert Ludlow's explanation of why cussing is bad absolutely destroyed Mrs. Maggie Lee, his cousin by marriage who had to go to the back of her house laughing while Lil' Robert's actual cousin, Col. H.F. Lee, listened intently with a straight face and a twinkle in his eyes as he also saw his cousin and Lil' Robert's grandfather and namesake, Capt. R.E. Ludlow, put his head in his hand with the comment: “That boy's ears!”
Col. Lee knew what the conversation on the phone had actually been with an Army veteran that the captain had served with, for he also had heard the captain's admonition: “It doesn't matter how much colorful language you use: you can't get that picture to come out of reality.”
Which of course Lil' Robert had interpreted as he could at just five years old.
“Because, see, it's like apples – people talk about them and you need lotsa red but you also need green and pink and yellow and real dark purple like the ones from Fruitland that they call black but they are really dark purple. But if you don't know, you need to leave the apples alone – and just give them to me because I love apples, and plums are not just plums, because, see –.”
Col. Lee gently interrupted.
“You know, I just got some red plums from Fruitland. Want one, Rob?”
“I would and thank you, because, see, I love plums too, and there's also green ones, yellow ones, purple ones, but I love red so I really love red ones!”
“I know – come on, cousin.”
“The only way to stop that boy from talking is to feed him,” Mrs. Thalia Ludlow said with a chuckle as her grandson skipped along with the colonel into his home next door to the Ludlows.
