"It's personal freedom, not hundred dollar bills that lights the soul's cigar."
- Tom Robbins -
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Yeah, right.
Can you can connect the dots?
To the consternation of nay-sayers, the value of a single Bitcoin achieved a new high of $30,000 dollars late last month. However, unlike last year's spike to $20K, the value seems to be holding steady. It is in fact still rising almost a week after crossing that unprecedented threshold.
could this be the long-predicted breakout in the controversial electronic money's price point? Other "cryptocurrencies" are on the rise as well.
The terms "Bitcoin" and "cryptocurrency" seem to be household words these days. However, despite the surge in interest, mass adoption of these economic instruments has been held back by their risks and the difficulty the average American has in understanding them.
There is no question, however, that many early adopters have become obscenely wealthy.
Movers and shakers from around the world are meeting today, presumably to discuss matters of global importance to their citizens, customers, and subjects.
While very little of what goes on in these meetings ever becomes public, rumor has it that this year's conference will place the disproportionate value of Bitcoin and other "electronic money" high on its agenda.
Politicians, royalty, and prestigious academics from universities like Yale are in attendance. Observers have noted a greater representation from the far east in recent years.
The location of the 2019 Bilderberg gathering has yet to be announced.
Yale University's Chairman of the Economics Department and Professor in the Institute for Social and Policy Studies today published a research paper in American Economic Journal: Economic Policy.
The paper, titled "Deleterious Effects of Neutral Cryptocurrency Policy On Domestic Economics," asserts that the rise of Bitcoin and similar instruments has had a destabilizing effect on the economy of the United States. The paper is highly critical of current government policies that turn a blind eye to the potential consequences of this relatively recent development on the economic scene.
When approached by our reporter, the Chairman declined comment, deflecting all attention to the paper itself.
In an unprecedented change of venue, the annual Bilderberg conference will meet for the first time ever this year in East Asia. Never in its sixty-five year history has this auspicious gathering of politicians, bankers and monarchs convened in the far east until now.
Sources indicate that Beijing leadership actively solicited the Bilderberg presence in an effort to influence the redirection of blockchain-based monetary issues on the world stage. This is not surprising, as the Chinese government has long taken a dim view of electronic money.
There is a renewed frenzy as the market for Bitcoin, Etherium, Steem, EOS, and other cryptocurrencies seems to have begun an unstoppable surge. Authorities are expressing concern over the volatility and speculation that appears to be on the increase. There is considerable fear of potential economic disaster from this "tulip-mania-like" bubble.
In related economic news, the Federal Reserve Bank is preparing a forthcoming announcement about interest rates.
Spontaneously forming a crowd, students at Berkeley today inked signs and spoke out strongly against the growing imbalance of economic leverage brought about by the recent explosion in the value of Bitcoin.
"No individual should be allowed to selfishly wield such obscene amounts of wealth" said one female student. "Think of all the good those billions could do for the homeless poor."
Unlike the recent extremely polarizing uprisings against gun violence, polls indicate that sentiments like these, disparaging "nouveau riche" crypto coin holders, are very widely held among Americans. Even so, some television viewers logged in to conspiracy websites claiming these students are paid government shills.
In his State of the Union Address, President Trump renewed his commitment to make America great again. "As part of our sweeping transformation of federal government technology" he said, "we're going to take care of the little guy by upgrading the dollar."
While he did not elaborate, sources say that a blockchain-based replacement for the U.S. dollar is currently being developed and will soon be revealed.
"We've identified a dangerous trend with all of these cryptocurrencies that have been flooding the country. They're built on some tremendous ideas, but have gotten out of control."
"I've asked the IRS and the Treasury Department to launch a legal study to determine whether or not these so-called 'blockchain-based assets' are not in fact a form of counterfeiting. Part of making America great again has to be protecting the average American from missing out the benefits of the new blockchain technologies."
Responding to the president's speech, cryptocurrency markets—which have always been exceptionally volatile—have gone into wild gyrations as investors speculate as to the ultimate fallout of such pronouncements.
This evening the president signed into public law what was originally H.R. 234, "Public Currency Protection Act." The new bill criminalizes the use of Bitcoin and other non-government currencies, while simultaneously providing a grace period during which they may be exchanged for official government USCoin without any tax or criminal penalties.
The law explicitly recognizes the benefits of blockchain technology in the areas of contracts and permanent records, but it makes the private use of blockchain for monetary purposes—by definition—illegal.
All registered cryptocurrency exchanges have agreed to hand over these now illegitimate financial instruments to agents of the Treasury Department, in exchange for official USCoin holdings. Exchange customers will be able to begin using their USCoin immediately.
The vast majority of loyal Americans are already using USCoin and enjoying the incredible benefits of the blockchain when it comes to accounting, ease of transfer, and bookkeeping for tax purposes. In fact, filing income taxes has now become 100% automatic for most U.S. citizens, saving countless hours of paperwork.
However, such benefits must be diligently guarded. In a press release this morning, the Director of the National Security Agency announced that it has become the agency's number one priority to trace and apprehend those dangerous dissidents still dealing in Bitcoin and other illegal cryptocurrencies.
"The remaining holdouts are likely using these dwindling assets to fund terrorism, facilitate drug deals, and to engage in other highly illegal activities" he said. "Fortunately, due to the mathematical properties that make blockchains immutable ledgers, we anticipate little difficulty locating and rounding up ongoing criminal offenders."
This newly refurbished and expanded spaceport on the coast of Brazil saw the departure of the first interplanetary colonization mission today. Fulfilling the dreams of hard-core science buffs, the launch became a reality largely through the persistence and pioneering vision of maverick entrepreneur Elon Musk.
Some commentators have remarked on the large percentage of blockchain pioneers who seem to have shifted their efforts toward space. Of the forty or so families on-board, a full third or more are said to have acquired their stake in the colonization enterprise by having been early adopters of Bitcoin and the other cryptocurrencies no longer permitted to function in our egalitarian global economy.
Musk personally christened the first interplanetary shuttle craft the "John Galt" two days before liftoff.
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