If you find a path without obstacles, it probably doesn't go anywhere.
We all encounter obstacles on the path of life and on the way to our dreams. Sometimes they are small and can be overcome faster; other times they require much more time, patience and determination. In other cases, it is we who "create" mental obstacles with our limiting and not very functional thoughts. But it is precisely the obstacles that give our life a different meaning.
There is nothing more boring than a film where everything is pink and there are no challenges, difficulties or obstacles to overcome. Challenges need us to grow, so much so that when we have no problems, we create them.
Are we sad or masochistic? No, it is that as human beings we are by nature problem-solvers, problem-solvers. Otherwise, why would we have invented the crosswords, sudoku, puzzles? Otherwise, why would we be inclined to know more and go beyond our limits?
Problems provide our brain with a context in which to train creativity, understanding and patience.
Here are 5 tips for overcoming the obstacles of life.
1. If you've done it once, you can still do it.
Whenever we are faced with a new challenge, let us allow ourselves to be taken by the despair and fear of not succeeding and forget that, in reality, we have already faced many of them in the past, perhaps even more demanding. If we did that on that occasion, why should we not do it again this time? Everything we need is inside us. Life never puts us before trials that we are unable to sustain.
2. Stay in the present
Have you ever thought, in the face of a challenge, that you will make everything wrong and/or that everything will go wrong?
The apocalyptic one, which reads the future and predicts catastrophes, is one of the traps in which we fall most often and which I have described in Free Your Life. But how many chances are there that what we are only assuming will really happen? When we feel anxiety and concern, we are projecting our mind into the future (of which we have no certainty) instead of remaining anchored in the present (the only one that really exists). One of the most effective ways to bring the mind back into the here and now is conscious breathing.
Make 10 deep breaths, focusing your attention on the air that enters fresh from your nostrils and comes out heated.
Imagine that all negative thoughts, anxiety and worries come out with exhalation and that harmonious feelings of peace, calm and confidence come in with inhalation.
Does the situation that you were afraid of before still seem so tragic and dangerous?
3. Set achievable mini-targets
Obstacles can look like large unattainable mountains and it is easy to be intimidated by the size of the problem, but through steps we can climb any flight of steps, even the steepest.
As I write in All Other Life, defining intermediate stages makes it easier to move on to action: the higher the objective, the more important it is to fragment it into small steps. If our aim is to lose weight, it is useless to decide not to eat for a whole month: it will be very difficult for us to do so and the result will be that we will feel frustrated because we have not completed our commitment. As a first goal, however, we can decide that within three days we will set a visit with the dietician and an appointment in our favorite gym and that within a week we will start to follow the diet we have chosen and we will train for an hour, three times a week, in the lunch interval. And on Saturday we will go to the market on foot. When we have a good plan of action, every day we know what we can do to get closer to our goal. What is your next step?
4. Think and speak positive
Words create our reality, so it is important to choose them carefully. Continuing to repeat "I am not capable","I will never do it","it is difficult" and other less functional expressions create negative conditioning in our minds. But the opposite is also true. As we modify the language, even if they do not change the facts of our lives, the way we perceive them changes decisively. So the destructive language of before becomes "I have in me the ability to do what I want","We need a lot of effort and energy, if I want to succeed I need to prepare well","It's not easy".
These are just examples. You can customize the upgrading phrases, with your own words, so that they are good for you. The mind follows the direction we give it: express yourself in positive terms!
5. Let others support you
The support of others is important. Don't be afraid to seek advice from people who may have already found themselves in the situation you are in now and who can support you.
Do not forget to live with lightness (which does not mean being superficial): a laughter in the company of people who make you feel good, is able to give you light, hope and maybe even new ideas for the issue you are facing.
