“ Friendship during college is the best and trust me on your last day of your college, you are going to cry your hearts out because you wont be able see them anymore” These words from my brother is still echoing in my head eventhough its been a year since I left college. I’ve seen movies and series that depict about friendship especially in college as if its a seventh heaven. Honestly It is a myth that strongly need to busted. I think I cried a lot in my sleep during my college days because of my friends.On my last day, I didn’t shed a single tear because I didn’t have anyone to shed tear for. Through my experience I believe that I got to the trailer on how brutal the real world is going to be.
Nobody is talking about friendship breakups because everyone thinks its not a big deal because friends come and go in your life. How about if you have a friend that you love the most than you love yourself? A person who is very close to you than your blood relation. You would move the mountains for that person. Honestly speaking I had one friend who I would the entire mountains for. Just when I started to realize the underlying meaning of my brother’s advice, she left me. She decided not to be part of my life anymore. It came to me as a sharp knife penetrated through my chest. We did been so close that many people referred to us as Siamese twins. I did share a lot of my deepest secrets like all the best friends do and I felt like we would be the best friends for life and our children and grandchildren friendship legacy.
It happened when I was diagnosed with lung infection and I have go through numerous treatment and constant medical consultation.When it first happened, I didn’t think much of I t as I was more focused on the recovery process and I agree sometimes things do change in life.However, it got to the point where coincidence seems more like a denial. Apparently my instincts were right, I got to know she wished not to be friends with me anymore. I did fall sick, I undergone depression due to the ailment. I was being so mean to her , I constantly yearned for her company and whenever she fails to be with me, I yelled at her and yes,I did create so much drama in our lives. I knew its my fault.Sometimes I couldn’t take in charge of my emotion and it kept on erupting like a volcano during that period. I knew she left me because I constantly being burden to her rather than friend. Its kind hard because whenever I revisted the place that we've been together, the whole movie of our memories are playing inside. It kind of painful to see that she is creating memories with someone else not with me.
However she wasn’t the first friends that I did lose. I know she wont be the last. That really made me to ponder am I the only person who is experiencing a friendship breakup. It seems like everyone is having a friendship bliss and I’m the one who is going through a hell phase. When comparing a friendship break with a relationship breakup, people take as no big deal of this kind of friendship break up. I’ve seen people don’t get much affected as much I do when they experience friendship break up,they just move on. I did talked to a few people regarding this friendship breakup, most of them said just move on, forget it. Which makes perfect sense. I agree what else you can do, you are completely left alone dumbstruck and dwell with your emotions. Some people did offer me sympathy “ Oh what such-and-such did was terrible and advised me that whatever happens it happened for good with the life moves on cliche.
While I have spent one whole semester to be exact sorting through my own emotions, it made me to ponder- why do we treat friendship break-ups differently? When we go through a relationship break-up,we are mourning a loss- after all, that person was your whole world,your best friend, your lover, your admirer and your savior at many times. Even the right thing to do is break -up,sometimes its hard to accept. The truth is you were originally with that person for a reason, even though he or she is not your lover but you shared yourself with them.That’s a huge thing and even though its a mere friendship break its not an easy thing to accept.
I think no matter what kind of relationship it is whether it is a friendship or love relationship, unrequited love is painful because it means something – that you could love someone in a few months as much as some people love in a lifetime. Love is not something that could be measured in days,months,years or even decades.Love doesnt have any categories. You shower love,care and affection to somebody if that somebody means a ot to you no matter what relationship it is.
After that friendship breakup, I stopped surrendering myself anymore in the name of friendship.I found out that I’m way much better alone than people surrounding me. I do believe that friendship break-ups can be every bit as devastating as any other break-up but I will help you to build a better version of yourself. I enjoy the solitude in me rather than surrounded by my friends Even after a year I see myself how much that I’ve grown from that friendship break up.It is indeed a lesson for me that that everybody’s presence in your life is going to be a reason. I think I knew the reason.
