Freewriting really is magical for tapping into memories that are stored, locked in a file cabinet in our minds, dusty, forgotten - then, WHOOSH!
The portrait is now in storage (but not collecting dust, I hope) - instead of gracing your wall -
Perhaps your ex in the corner looks too benign, too happy?
Just "freewriting" some possible explanations - ignore me!
It came to mind because of something a chaplain said to console my mom -
"He seems happy"
Long story but ironically (perniciously? wickedly?) I was angry that he should seem happy in his current situation while his wife is left behind to clean up his messes (and they are legion).
But I'm not blogging these days. Both parents are still alive, but they are old, and I am old, and all these memories and all the detritus of a lifetime swirl though the ether and I am not touching it. I'm ducking, hiding. NOT GONNA WRITE THIS SH*T.
Ok, your freewrite really touched something here -
And that is always a testament to the power of your words, @owasco!