Life with Multiple Personalities (Dissociative Identity Disorder)

Life with Multiple Personalities (Dissociative Identity Disorder) | Ecency

Reader Discretion: Adult Language, Dissociative Identity Disorder/Multiple Personalities.

She felt compelled to pick up the pencil. When she did, it started writing in a childlike scrawl. ‘My name is Meghan’ she wrote and then started to draw loops and swirls, designs all over the page. Her name appeared over and over and over again as though she was just learning how to write for the first time.

The look on her face was fiercely focused. The furrowed brow, the tip of her tongue sticking out as she wrote and drew, not noticing anything else.

Suddenly, she was feeling very tired, “I’m so sleepy,” she said, rubbing her eyes. “I think I need a nap now.” And just like that, she set down the pencil, grabbed a pillow from the couch beside her and laid her head down to rest.

Brady watched as her breathing instantly slowed, her hands tucking under her cheek on the pillow. He knew at that point that Meghan was gone for now. She would go away and rest in her own little safe place and he had no idea who would show up next. He sat in his chair, trying to focus on the book in his hand as he kept an eye out, knowing that someone else would be waking up any minute.

He didn’t have to wait long. The person laying on the couch rolled over, stretching as if waking up from a long sleep, when it had actually only been a matter of minutes.

She sat up, yawned and looked at him across the room, slightly confused. “Why are you sitting there watching me sleep?” She looked around, feeling a bit lost, “How long was I out this time?” She asked.

He sighed in relief. It was just Bri. She was fairly safe. “Not long. Meghan was here.” He gestured to the coffee table where Meghan’s notebook lay open.

She picked it up, staring at the childlike scrawls on the page, “This is just so weird.” Bri looked at him, sitting there so matter of fact, like it was perfectly normal for your girlfriend to just be several different people.

“Honey, it’s okay. Really. I love you and we’ll get through it. Besides, Meghan isn’t difficult to deal with. Not like…” his voice trailed off and she knew he wouldn’t continue. Saying her name always felt like asking for disaster, like just the mention of her would summon her wrath in an instant. They were always very careful to keep her name as far from their lips as they could.

She got up and went over to him, feeling the need for the physical connection of touch. He was her safe place, her security. She curled up in his lap, resting her head on his shoulder.

“Did you hear that Mike called the company president an asshole?" he said.

“What? Holy shit. What did Mark say to that? I can’t imagine he took it well.” She replied, playing the game with him. They always had to grab any chance for ‘normal’ life when they could. Whenever she woke up, they went to normal discussion as soon as possible.

Talking about work was usually a safe topic. They all knew about work and as long as they stayed away from the triggering topics, Bri usually stayed around for a while.

“Well, Mark fired him, of course.” Brady laughed, “In the typical Mark fashion.”

Bri laughed at that, “So, what did he throw this time? The phone?”

“Actually, the computer monitor.”

“No way! He threw the computer at him? Damn. He must have been pissed.” She snuggled closer and enjoyed the conversation, happy to just feel like a regular person having a chat with her boyfriend. She always revelled in these times, hoping that the rest of it, the reality of it was something she could just mentally will into non-existence.

They talked for a long while about work, about plans for the day. They were both becoming a bit relaxed, they way they always did before all hell broke loose.

Brady suddenly had the thought, ‘maintenance is required, clearly we need to get back to therapy soon,’ but he stupidly brushed it aside. It was so hard to do anything at all when she was curled up against him like this. He just wanted to stay like this forever.

He wasn’t even sure what he said to set her off this time. What combination of words he had said to bring Kim to the surface, he had no idea, but he knew the second she switched.

Her body tensed and he could almost feel her skin crawling. She hated it when she came out and they were snuggled together like this. The intimacy make her furious. She was standing and glowering at him, a sneer twisting her features before he even had a chance to react.

“Well, what the fuck are you looking at?” She said, her voice low and hard. She turned to the kitchen, “Is there any food in this piece of shit place or have you been wasting the entire fucking day curled up in the chair?”

Sighing, he stood. “No, there isn’t food here. You were asleep earlier and I didn’t want to leave you here alone.”

“Oh, poor baby.” Her eyes raked over him, leaving him feeling raw, “You were afraid I’d come out, weren’t you? That I’d take the chance to leave the second I could?” She turned and opened the nearly empty refrigerator. “Well, you weren’t wrong, asshole. I’d have been out of here in a heartbeat. What the FUCK? We don’t even have anything to drink? For fuck’s sake, Brady. Can we at least have something in this fucking place? Just occasionally?” Slamming the fridge door, she stormed out of the kitchen, grabbing her purse and heading for the door.

“Wait,” He knew it was futile, but he had to try, “Can’t you just… I’ll get food. We can go shopping. Just…” He sighed. She was already unlocking the door. It was time for another adventure in public. He never knew which of them he was going to get when they were out and about, but he knew this wasn’t the best option.

“Wait? Can I just WHAT?” She turned on him, her eyes blazing for a second just before a glimmer appeared in her eyes. “You want me to behave? Is that what you were going to say? We’ll see, won’t we?” She spun on her heel and headed out the door. He grabbed his keys and followed as fast as he could.

I thought it was quite interesting that this first prompt came up today. This topic/these memories have been at the forefront of my mind lately. Both because of conversations that my husband and I have been having as well as just revisiting the early days of our relationship and marriage.

If you found this interesting, you might also like my short story that I wrote a while ago called Voices: The Party