Day 26 off work, trying to heal what's been broken for years.
Last night was rough. I couldn't get myself to fall asleep. My mind kept wandering, reminiscing about the past, fearing the uncertain future and despising the present. I find myself stuck in these loops so often lately, especially since I've limited my social outings to a minimum. A lot of people would argue that not spending time with friends can be detrimental to someone's health but in my case, that temporary social break was pretty much required and exactly what my body and mind needed.
Since I spent most of last night wide awake, I've decided to give a tv show I stumbled upon on TikTok a go. It's called "The morning show". Cast is amazing - Jenn Aniston, Reese Witherspoon, Steve Carell, Tom Irwin, to name a few. I won't get into what the show is about because I'm only 3 episodes in but I'd definitely recommend it if you haven't seen it yet.
Credit: Forbes
The reason I brought it up so quickly and without even finishing the first season, is because of one of the main issues it raises. Consent. This is obviously something that has been quite relevant for a while now, although I know a lot of us can agree that it shouldn't even be in question - I mean, toddlers understand what "YES" and "NO" mean. So why can't adults?!
This is actually the second show I've seen around that same topic within a month. First one I've binged is called "Anatomy of a scandal". Please watch it - it's remarkably well written, keeps you on your toes till the very end. But it can also be triggering to some so watch at your own pace.
Credit: IMDB
Both of these tv series have made me rethink my past and remember many instances I wish I didn't. I've started teaching Sophia about consent as soon as she could understand me. I've explained to her that her body is hers only and no one else's. She doesn't have to give anyone a hug if she doesn't want to; she doesn't have to let anyone touch her if it makes her uncomfortable/ uneasy or if she simply chooses not to. She also doesn't owe anyone an explanation. I wasn't raised that way, unfortunately. I was never told I was allowed to say "NO". It was actually frowned upon if I did it. Or I had to have a "good" reason to use this word. I couldn't just simply say "NO". I feel like this is exactly why I was such a pushover in my teens and early 20s. I can think of at least 10 situations where my initial "NO" was interpreted as me playing hard to get or being a tease. No amount of reasoning was ever enough. It's sad that when we're this young, we don't see it as clearly. Perhaps we're blinded by the desire to be liked, loved, cared about. It took me years to realize how wrong some of these behaviours were and to what extent the outcomes have affected me. Now, I feel like the curtain has been lifted and I finally saw these people for who they really were. Manipulators. Predators.
I also want to mention another side to this subject. Even though this is considered an issue where women are the majority of the affected people, a lot of men have also come forward in the last couple of years. Let's not disregard their stories and dismiss their feelings. The gravity of this matter falls beyond sex, age, race, gender etc. All of us are allowed to say "NO". And all of us are responsible to listen and respect someone's boundaries.
Obviously, this is a very sensitive topic that should not be treated lightly. To anyone that has ever gone through similar experiences where your words are simply ignored, where your "NO" doesn't seem enough - I am very sorry. This should not be happening to anybody. Keep your chins up and, as one of my friends say, "If they can't hear your "NO", go for the crotch." 😌
Thank you for stopping by. Wishing you all a great rest of the week! ❤️
