There was shock and astonishment at Hive headquarters yesterday when the results revealed another drop in the crypto rankings to a new low of 344 even though the Hive marketing arm spent 1.2 million the year before . We join the team at Hive headquarters .
"Good morning people . As you all know I am Stan"
"Thank you for joining me here today in Caracus to discuss our marketing metrics ." By the way did any of you get caught by the wallet inspector on the way in? He took a couple of hundred dollars off me and asked me to confirm my pin number for my credit card as a matter of national security . Everytime I come to this city, every blooming time I get caught by the wallet inspector. More of a reason why we need to go decentralised if you ask me. Well I for one am not a gullible and naive fool which is more a reason why we are here. For the good of humanity.""How could we get so low in the rankings guys eh ??? Gordon you used to be the senior dev at Blackberry . “ What are we doing wrong?? I just don’t see it”“ We focus a bit too much on this beautiful country Venezuela we are now in because all our friends are there but we are achieving our metrics here right guys??”
“Lets pull up our new website and take a look. Everything looks legitimate here.""All hard working decent people who are volunteering for Hive."
We have our top spend with the rally car . Pull it up on the screen there Samantha . Which one of you guys are friends with these speedsters. Is it you Amanda?
Errrr yes sir friends with the wing man.
Wooow. Look at it . It's beautiful. Look at it there flying over a hill. Look at the comments . The Community are in love with the rally car. This has been a real success for us guys. A real success. Send another amateur videographer to their next race to film another video. Have we time Amanda??
"Am no boss , ahem I mean equal partner. No they crashed again."
“Well at least if they crashed we can see the Hive logo in a bush somewhere." Most beehives are in bushes. Brilliant!!
“They need another 100k for the repairs and driver is saying he needs to get fit sir.”
"Don't call me sir Amanda. I am your equal other just with just a much more significant stake"
"Yes your majesty"
Just give them what they want. How do they get fit? Buy them a treadmill or a bike or something. Trim some fat around there. The car might go a bit faster with less timber on board. They might not even finish last. Oh by the way. Have we many metrics? That 
“Well there are 6 active users in the rally car community Jeff.”And two of them are the drivers and I think the remaining are the videographers"
"Hmmmmm, not what I expected at all but it reveals nothing. The rally car drivers showed Amanda a photo of the car in a newspaper in Croatia and they said it had a billion readers. All across the balkins."
"Ahhh the Balkins doesn't have a billion people sir"
Stop calling me sir. They call me Stan. Ok lets park the rally car for a moment.
Stop giggling!!!
Lets take a look at the conference ? Massive spends here especially in South America again. Poor countries I see. Should we not be attending conferences in USA and Europe or even Asia guys?? Is this not where the money is?? Why is it always South America? Who attended our latest conference in Bogota?
Me boss , ahh i mean equal colleague with just more stake.
Yeah it was great. I had the Bogota special called Ajiaco and it was unbelievable and i shared with another Hive member . She had the chicken fried rice with cavier.
No no I'm not asking about the succulent meal, I am asking how was the conference??
What conference?
Ohhh the Bogota conference . Oh it was ok but the food. The food. The food was magic. It was out of this world. Most of us had all 5 courses. One of the Hive members was never out of her city in her life so she was delighted. We even took her on a helicopter tour around the barrios as this is where she had grown up.
How was the event though? Did you meet anybody of importance to network with?Any onboarded?
Well the hospitality manager gave me her number for future events and she said she would sign up. She has a great tasting menu for the next conference in Bogota next week. This is the web3 conference so we have to go. But most people are broke asses so they couldn't be arsed signing up. They are more concerned about where their next meal is coming from that writing a story about a walk in the. park.
Shoot..
But we also got speaking to a transfer company who would knock $1000 off the transport bill to collect us al from the airport and drop us to the banquet.
You mean conference ?
Ahhhh yes sorry the conference.
_“Hmmmmm But why always South America?"
Well it's because they are queuing up to do one and nobody in Europe has any interest.
So we are basing our conference attendance by the hive users that have free time??
Ann you are involved in conferences is this correct?
Well of course we are. Sometimes we ask them to bring their friends and we cover the expenses. Although that time Jose took a friend and his friend robbed the local bank was not a good day for us.
Well they have bleeding time because they are unemployed lackies Ann. This may be a problem.
Ok on the subject of unemployed lackies how are the gym street guys getting on ?Are they still onboarding users with a lure of travel and clothes and to escape a life of depravity?. At least they are not expensive .
They cost us 50k so far this year boss , i mean Jeff
What?!?!? How can you spend 50k on outdoor gym events company in 6 months. In South America? Jesssssuss.This is worrying.
Logistics .
Logistics and merch????
What? Oh yeah. Sure theres an army of them. How else are they meant to get to the venues?
Ok ok so in summary. at the moment we are paying a bunch of unemployed bums to basically turn their hobbies into their dreams and not only that but we are picking the most corrupt countries in the world to do it in. Correct?
Well yes but we are decentralised . Borders don't apply. Whoever applies have a chance in getting funding no matter what county that they reside in. Its not our fault that the rich in the developed countries are not applying. They won't lower themselves to take money out of the blockchain. They have morals sir.
The wrestlers are crawling back for their annual funding boss , Ah I mean equal other with a significant Hive stake.
Yes Kevin. We don't hear from the wrestlers much. Only when they want money but give them what they want. Samantha is into the wrestling. So if she likes them then the whole Community likes them. Their Community is strong on Hive plus that big bear of a fella caught me in a sleeper hold at the last Hivefest in Split and wouldn't leave me go until I promised him 20,000 HBD for the Wrestling conference. I love those wrestlers. Hive through and through. Don't post much but they don't need to. Hive is in their blood and their big bulding bellies..
Shannon . You have you hand up for quite a while now. We are all decentralised here so I am keen to hear your words even though your stake is feeble. The room is yours.You look a bit annoyed.
I have a proposal. I might be mad and all . And apologies if I sound mental. But what if we stopped giving money to the freeloaders ,bums , losers, leechers, users and good friends of ours that have tiny stakes and bearly post on Hive after they get massive funding for these projects. What if we stop giving them handouts , focus on raising the price of Hive which will happen if there is less selling of Hive on the markets , maybe hire an external marketing company to aim at marketing digitally to the crypto world where we have a niche market. It just might work.
Woooahh there Shannon. Calm down a bit. This is a total change. Hire a centralised company. That's outrageous. I don't think you get us Shannon. Hive is built in trusting our own people. Trusting the @ihatethehivecommunityandimgonnatakealltheirHBDuntiltheyfail is gonna spend all that 50k on his conference. What separates us from animals if there is no trust. Bitcoin is based on trust Shannon!! It is why it was built. A couple of days ago @serialconferencescammer came to me telling me that he had an idea for a conference. Now he had his legal problems with Polkadot , Dash, Ripple , Ethereum and Link over misappropriating over 500k in funds. But who am I not to give this guy another chance Shannon. We all deserve a second chance.
Bullshit Stan, word on the street is that he has a video of you in a hotel room getting your testicles stamped on by a ladyboy in red stilettos.
Whhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaa??????? Shannon I cannot believe what you are saying at this moment in time!!!!
Thats not all. Everyone of you is compromised in some shape or form. There is no way this group is that idiotic, that stupid and that naive enough to be funding this group of degenerate dossers without being somehow blackmailed. Either that or everyone of you has been born with a silver spoon in your mouths and cannot see you are being hustled, played , tricked and laughed at.
ITS TRUE ITS TRUE Wahhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Ok Amanda theres no need to get upset.
But she's right Stan. They recorded me having sex with 3 male dwarves and they are threatening to tell my husband.
Isn't you husband a 6 foot 8" wrestler Amanda?
Yessssss wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. I just like the little ones every now and then. Don't judge me. WAAAAAAHHHHHHH
Ok Amanda. We will get through this together.
What about you Kevin. Are you compromised?
Unfortunately yes Stan. They have me sticking barbie doll heads up my anus.
Barbie Doll heads?
Yes Stan, the Barbie hair gets tangled around something, maybe my prostate and it is extremely arousing.
OK Kevin spare me the details.
You see Amanda there is always someone worse off than you. The dwarves is actually normal compared to Kevins situation.
How bout you Samantha?
Got caught doing Gordon.
You two?? What?
What about you @InnocentStayIn?
We hired you because of your unusually boring voice and your unbreakable trust and loyalty even in the face of adversity.
Are you compromised? Please tell me you are not. If you are then I have lost all faith in humanity.
Yes sir I am compromised.
How did they get to you @InnocentStayIn??? HOOOOOWWWWW????
Yorkshire Terrier sir.
What do you mean Yorkshire Terrier?
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ohhh gawddddd InnocentStayIn. That's the worse one.
Amanda and myself are coming out of this smelling of roses.
So we are all compromised except for Shannon. That's quite something that we are all being blackmailed here. We have been Epsteined here guys. So where do we go from here. What do you think Shannon?
Well it is clear. I take over and you all have to resign from the marketing arm of Hive.
Notttttt sooooo fast Shannon.I knew this day would come where somebody tried to dethrone me so it is time to play my hand. So I had to do a bit of digging myself. Back in 2022 , on April 4th in fact. You upvoted your own comment on not just 1 but on 2 occasions.
SO????
Well Shannon I have news for you. I could scam Hive out of millions over the last 5 years and the Community will not bat an eyelid. But anyone who upvotes their own comment. Welll..... that's another level entirely!!! Total banishment. You will be outcast to Blurt and never to be heard of again.
YOU'RE INSANE!!!! YOU WOULD NEV......
Try me Shannon. Any squealing from you on Yorkshire terriers, dwarfs , stilettos or barbie heads and I'm gonna ,draft a post around what a self comment upvoting fraud you really are. I hope that 10 cent was worth it Shannon. Now get in line. It's business as usual for the next 5 years. And there is not a thing the Hive Community is gonna do about it.
That concludes the meeting today.
Oh and Innocentstayin, ahhhh change of plan I'm just gonna cancel putting my little Raffles in your boarding kennels next month. I have decided to cancel my holiday to Thailand.
I'm not into French Bulldogs, Stan.
I think its for the best. If there is any risk of Raffles getting sodomized I would rather not take the risk. Anyway the meeting is over. Please exit the rear of the building in case the wallet inspector is waiting at the door.
F%^king Idiot.................
I heard that Shannon. I heard that. Keep an eye on that upvote comment button Shannon. You have been warned!!!!
