It just can't be helped at times. If you are someone who is well known for giving out to people, people will always be at your door with their hands ready to knock. Gifting. It is one trait I grew up knowing from my part of the world. I enjoy the smile that graces people's faces, knowing it was because I did something good for them that made them feel that way.
The act of saving is something I learned from a very small age. I loved saving so much, and I could hardly remember spending that money on myself. It is either giving out on a loan that won't be received or halfly received or given to help a friend in need. That was how things were. And I do know that my desire to gifting people really made people take advantage of a little child, but they never knew their cheating nature makes me learn more about life.
I have come across people whose main job is to suck you dry as a giver. They'll bring all their family problems to your face and never stop. And, the day you don't help out ends up being the day you turn to a bad person. Well, I am not much of a people person anyway, so setting boundaries to these people was very easy.
While I was in school, I had a roommate who loved spending money endlessly on unnecessary things. I name them unnecessary because she doesn't really need them. The reason she got them was because it made her feel like a super big girl with the other big girls at my hostel who always shop for clothes, bags and shoes every weekend like they are on a job hunt for the most shopping babe of the week.
At first, I didn't know my roommate had not just parents, but uncles, cousins and aunties who can't help giving her money every week and being the type of person that I am, I would visit my grandma's village during free weekends at times and you know how grandma's are. They'll never leave you empty-handed going back.
The way my grandma packs foodstuff for me is always like I am traveling to a place of no return that needs her food to survive and getting these foodstuff, I'll take them right to my hostel and keep them all at my roommate and Is room where we both devour it with some other hostel mates. However, the moment I did know that she received money back and front, I set a boundary between going to my grandma's for food.
I was always busy anyway so I just got more busy that whenever her people send her money and she uses them for shopping, what we will eat now is now; you eat whatever you get and so will I.
I made her know that even though my grandma's love language is packing me endless food whenever I visit her, she doesn't deserve to benefit from it if she has people who care for her but foolish enough to spend them on shopping. I set a boundary on visiting my grandma's place that whenever she asks me;
"Bali, will you be home this weekend? There's no food at home. When will you visit your grandma?"
I always tell her maybe not in the same sentence, but the words surely send the message.
"My grandma is not a food vendor. Don't you have your own grandma?" and although not going to my grandma means I'll have to hustle thrice as hard to eat something, I stuck to that. I hustled and survived and only visited my grandma once in a long while before I graduated.
Surely, I do love the way my heart beats rhythmically whenever I give things out to people, but whenever that generosity seems to be taken for granted, I wear my coat of boundaries and get it ready to set and go! And with this, here's music to go as well.
Images used are mine, and video was gotten from #youtube.
Still yours truly,
Balikis.
Thanks for reading and listening.
Peace be unto those who crave it and more to those who chase it away.