Today was probably the best day to write this. I mean, when's the best time to write something cathartic than the midnight after an absolutely shit day?
Dear b0s
This letter is for you to come back to in 5 years' time and reflect upon. I have already put a reminder into my calendar app, which is linked to my email, so hopefully you get the reminder.
I have so much to tell you, but I don't even know where to begin or how to say the things that I want to say. I am sure you can understand that. Putting down our exact thoughts into words has always been a bit hard. Is that something we get better at doing over time? I have already started asking questions, so I might as well continue on that path.
Let me start small. What is our life like 5 years from now? As I am sure you already know, there's a general structure, and the things we hope for (do you still hope for them?), have we at least laid down the foundation whereby those things look possible? Where are we right now? What are we doing? I know we can't be satisfied, but are we at least happy and proud of what we have achieved so far? Don't give me half-hearted replies; I want you to answer these questions with all sincerity.
You know that phase of life we casually get to (a bit too often these days) where everything just seems annoying and slow, and then the world feels like it's fighting to take away your sanity in the most cruel way possible, and then we just have to do our best to play it cool because we know (we don't actually, we hope) that it's just a phase and things will get better. That's where we are right now. I don't think I need to go into the details for you (we'll talk soon on video), but then, round-tripping in trading, strain in personal relationships, Web3 is currently going through a lull, we are procrastinating on everything, and there are no clear short-term goals (you know these are what keep us sane); we're just going through the motions. I am genuinely curious: how many more of these do we have to go through? Every time feels harder than the last. I have been made to believe it is character development, but how many more character developments do we need to go through? Do we feel better after everything? You know what, how does this particular one end? Do you even remember this one? It's been five years, so I'm guessing there may have been even worse ones. If I've learnt anything, it's that the more we grow, the more difficult the challenges we face become. Are we better equipped to deal with the challenges?
I am currently watching my underwater trade. Tell me, does it end well? Will my endurance be rewarded with even more pain, or will I thank myself afterwards?
Tell me, does this fear of what the future holds go away? Do we at least achieve a semblance of freedom? Who are the important people in our life? Did things work out? Are we happy?
I am sorry, I am not sorry for bombarding you with questions. I am sure you'll understand, after all, you are me, so you should understand the need to want to have the answers.
Anyway, for now I don't have them, so I'll rest my head and let's see how today goes. Soon I'll have them.
yours sincerely
b0s
Cover image taken by me
