Have you ever heard the saying if you have nothing to say, keep quiet? Well I wish many people learnt from that and actually kept shut about their opinions of others, especially bad one's. A preacher once said "someone who doesn't like you, doesn't know you, if you don't like me you don't know me, that's why, and I forgive you for your MYOPIA". That hit me deep, because the truth is not everyone around you is a friend and not every friend knows you, that's why you get alot of betrayal and hurt and secrets being revealed. most people are so myopic in their thinking and actions that they don't even know it. A true friend, when he or she takes their time to know you, they will definitely like you for both your perfect imperfections.
Opinions according to oxford dictionary is a view or judgement formed about something, not necessarily based on fact or knowledge. (A VIEW) it's sad that most people think their opinions are always right even when they hurt the feelings of others. there are so many ways by which you can hurt a person but the worst of them all is mental or emotional hurt. Most people suffer from this type of hurt all their lives because they get hurt by people they call "friends", at some point in our lives we may have said something to someone that we shouldn't have, maybe it was driven by anger, jealousy, hate, whatever and those with conscience end up feeling bad at the end of the day and apologize, but some, having Ego and a Narcissistic personality feel they are right and it was meant to be said, not minding the fact they have hurt the person's feelings. Words and opinions have led many into committing suicide (it is one of the main factors), fall into depression, or any form of illness to their mental.
Have you ever been a victim of cyber bullying or any kind of bullying?
If yes, how did it or has it affected you in your growing day to day life.
I have, almost all my life. Let me share a little experience that happened to me some days back.
So my Ex boyfriend and his friends trolled me for some days, we broke up because he was cheating on me and was a pathological liar, I see myself as one who should never be cheated on even if I am not the most perfect human, I know my worth. Now we have broken up since March 2020 there about and January 2021 (this year) was when his demons told him to attack me 馃槇, I got alot of nasty, insulting calls, text messages and on social media also. I had to block alot of numbers and he has a whole lot of friends, I was so mad, so angry I wanted to report them to the authorities but then I had to speak with a couple of people on the matter because I needed someone high in so they can be taught a lesson, they gave me their opinion on it. In summary they all said the same thing (in different ways though 馃檪)
This is Nigeria they said, our system of government doesn't work like other civilized and lawful country, at some point the same authorities you expect to help you will be the ones to snitch on you for a little stipend and did I mention my ex boyfriend is a bad boy, so they will come for me and maybe my family, they know where I live and where I work so I wasnt safe.
At first I didnt want to listen because I was still boiling hot 馃槨馃敟, but then i gave it some thought and realized they made a good point and decided to drop it, well the guys haven't bothered me again, i was just trolled for two days and it stopped. To be honest I was abit traumatized, I had nightmares about it and I was alil bit paranoid, I didnt leave my house and didnt go to work all week.
Now you see how words and opinions affect people. I have always been on the plus size side and we all know that's a major plus for being bullied. I have had to deal with alot of negative comments and opinions, some people will let this affect them so bad that they end up killing themselves or becoming psychopaths and even become bullies themselves(negative way), while others will use such comment to do everything in their power to lose the weight by any means necessary (positive ) to prove a point to others or themselves. Some people who end up becoming bullies use it as a defense mechanism to shield themselves from those comments so they attack back and become really mean.
Well trust me I have tried it all, pills馃拪, herbal tea 馃嵉, diets, gym, a whole lot, but well I was born this way and I really can't kill myself trying to lose weight 馃お now, I try to eat healthy (vegetables and smoothies), do yoga and be positive, but it still doesn't mean I dont crave junk food like burger 馃崝, chips馃崯, chocolate 馃崼, sweets馃嵀... I'm only human after all with a sweet tooth 馃Ψ.
I try to be very careful with my words because I know how it affects People. If I dislike something about someone I use the oldest trick in the book, I make a lovely comment to the person, say what I dont like in a very smart way and then crown it with another comment and sometimes I go with sarcasm.
For example, a person who has a body odour, I could comment on their clothes,hair, or say something that really looks nice on the person and then ask did you wear any perfume today or what perfume are you wearing, I study his or her answer and facial expressions which leads me to the next comment I make, I could then say it suits you but have you tried this perfume or I just continue to compliment another thing on the person. Some people get the cue immediately others may take a while but most times when I meet them I see there's an improvement. Just so I dont hurt the person's feelings I don't come out to say you smell, but some people are very direct, it can be a good thing but knowing when to be and when not to be too direct is important. I appreciate direct people because I am not and sometimes I just want to say what I mean to some certain people and I just can't, it can be annoying sometimes though.
At some point we all have been a victim of bad opinions and words, I would really want to know how it affected you at that moment and what you did about it, and if you where the one that hurt a person's feelings, how you went about it also.
Opinions are meant to be heard but before speaking you should sit and think of the impact it wll have on such individual and if you were the one being told that, how would you feel?
Be mindful of what you say, there is a lot of hate going on in the world and people go through things everyday even if they don't talk about it, rather than show or spread hateful comments, why not be different and show or spread love, it won't cost you anything but rather it will give you joy and make you a happier person.
Be mindful.
